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Breastfeeding for Beginners: What I Wish I Knew Before My First Baby
Before my first baby was born, I didn’t give breastfeeding much thought. I figured it would be the most natural thing in the world — you have a baby, you feed them, and that’s that. My mom even told me to start using nipple cream before birth to help prepare, but I brushed it off, thinking she was being overly cautious.
I couldn’t have been more wrong. Those first few weeks showed me just how much of a learning curve breastfeeding can be.
This post is for new moms — or moms starting over again with another baby — who want a realistic, encouraging, and practical look at what breastfeeding is really like in the beginning, plus everything I wish I knew the first time around.
My Early Breastfeeding Struggles
Right after my first baby was born, he latched okay the very first time — and I thought, “See? This is easy.” But from the second feed onward, things went downhill fast. My nipples were painfully dry, cracked, and sore within just a couple of days. Every feeding hurt so badly I had to grit my teeth.
In the hospital, I ended up using a nipple shield for relief. The lactation consultant at the time told me it was fine to use it indefinitely, so I went home with it and continued for the next two months. Even with the shield, the pain sometimes made me want to give up entirely.
I saw multiple lactation consultants during those weeks. At one point, I tried to wean my baby off the shield, but it was still uncomfortable. Eventually, I realized I had to focus less on the “right” way and more on what actually worked for us.
Learning the Proper Latch
One of the biggest game changers for me was learning what a good latch really looked and felt like. In the beginning, I didn’t understand that a shallow latch — where the baby only sucks on the nipple — is a recipe for pain and poor milk transfer.
The goal is for the baby to take a big mouthful of breast, not just the tip. Aim your nipple toward the baby’s nose so they have to open wide, and then bring them to your breast quickly while supporting both their shoulder blades and your breast.
Here’s what worked for me:
- Wait for their mouth to open wide, like a yawn.
- Make sure the bottom lip and chin are just below your areola.
- Compress your breast slightly (like a hamburger) so it fits in their mouth.
- Quickly bring them onto the breast so the nipple ends up deep in their mouth, not rubbing against their tongue or the roof of their mouth.
Once I got this down — and my baby grew a bit — things got dramatically better around the nine-week mark.
When You Feel Like Giving Up
I’ll be honest: there were so many moments in those early weeks where I was ready to quit. Breastfeeding felt nothing like the blissful bonding moment I’d imagined. I was in tears more than once, frustrated and feeling like my body was failing at something it was “meant” to do.
On top of that, I was healing from birth, adjusting to life with a newborn, and had the stress of a new job that required me to travel. I needed to pump enough milk before my trip while still feeding my baby at home. By the time I came back from that trip, though, I had a different baby — one who was bigger, stronger, and much better at breastfeeding.
The truth is, many moms hit this wall in the beginning. If that’s you, it doesn’t mean you’re not cut out for breastfeeding. It just means you and your baby are both still learning.
Formula vs. Breastmilk: My Take
While I believe “fed is best” and fully support moms who need or choose to use formula, I personally wanted to breastfeed because breastmilk really is like liquid gold. It’s packed with antibodies and nutrients that are uniquely designed for your baby.
I’ve seen firsthand how breastfeeding helped my babies stay healthier. Even when I got sick, my milk carried antibodies that seemed to protect them — sometimes they didn’t even get sick at all. That’s a powerful benefit you just can’t get from formula.
The Evenings Are Different — And That’s Okay
One thing I wish I’d understood earlier is that evenings can be tricky. My first baby often refused to nurse at night, and I stressed that he wasn’t feeding enough to keep my supply up. Now, with my second, I realize that sometimes babies are just tired and don’t want to work for milk in the evenings.
My solution: I pump in the evenings while my husband gives the baby a bottle. It’s become part of our routine, and it keeps everyone happier and well-fed without the stress.
Watching and Learning
I’m a visual learner, so watching latch demonstration videos was incredibly helpful. YouTube is full of examples from lactation consultants that walk you through positioning and latch technique step-by-step.
Even if you think you “get it,” rewatching these videos over and over can help reinforce what to do when you’re sleep-deprived and frustrated.
Boosting Your Milk Supply
If your supply dips (and at some point, it probably will), there are things you can do to bring it back:
- Add extra pumping sessions: Even one or two extra pumps a day can help.
- Eat enough calories: Focus on high-protein, high-fiber, nutrient-dense foods.
- Stay hydrated: Drink more water than you think you need.
- Include galactagogues: These are foods and herbs thought to support milk supply, like oats, flaxseed, and brewer’s yeast.
When my supply drops, I bake my go-to lactation cookie recipe (shared in another post). I eat about five of those cookies in a day, drink tons of water, and notice a difference quickly.
Stress can also tank your supply. I’ve learned that the best thing I can do is take a deep breath, stick to my breastfeeding/pumping schedule, and focus on nourishing my body.
Comfort and Recovery Essentials
The early days of breastfeeding can be rough on your body. These items made a huge difference for me:
- Natural nipple cream: Helps prevent cracking and soreness while you’re getting used to breastfeeding.
- Cooling gel pads: Store them in the fridge for soothing relief between feeds.
- Good nursing bras: I skipped these at first, but now I consider them essential for comfort and convenience.
Positions That Worked for Me
Finding the right position can make all the difference in your comfort and your baby’s latch. My favorites were:
- Cross-cradle hold: Baby lies across your body, supported by the arm opposite the breast you’re using.
- Football hold: Tuck your baby under your arm like a football, supporting their neck with your hand.
If your baby is frantic and won’t latch, it might mean they’re too hungry to settle down. Sometimes I’ll use a clean finger to let them suck for a moment, which calms them enough to transition to the breast.
Give Yourself Grace
Breastfeeding is natural, but it’s not always intuitive. It takes time, practice, and patience — for both you and your baby. In the beginning, it can feel all-consuming and exhausting, but it truly does get easier.
By the time my first baby was 4–5 months old, we were on a great schedule, and I was finally enjoying our breastfeeding sessions. With my second, I’ve been much more relaxed and flexible. If he needs a bottle, I pump and give him one. If my supply dips, I know what to do without panicking.
The biggest thing I’ve learned is that your breastfeeding journey doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. Do what works for you, keep learning, and remember — you and your baby are a team.
